Ever felt inferior when you met someone/many others who are significantly better than you? better at studying; at time management; at singing; at socialising; at sports; at cooking; at hooking up; way better looking; more talented; funnier; heck, probably a roll ball of all the above and even more, like maybe give any adjective and just add -ier or the word better/greater. In short, it makes us feel like a loser. And if the loserish pang is there most of the time, the disease is simply known as low-self esteem plus low confidence.

Although the above might hit many of us, I don’t think many a times, we seldom identify ourselves as people with little confidence.

 

On the other end of the spectrum, we might just meet someone, and just grew a bit more arrogant, show-off or complacent. Not that we are such people, most of the time, we just claim that “Hey! I still speak to that person very nicely!” That is very true, but just that this time around, the situation is not much different from before, although your ‘greatness’ or ‘talent’ was not boldly displayed to the public; you are maybe just the other confident or ‘better’ person on the other side.

So, am I trying to point out who’s right and who’s wrong? Who’s better and who’s not? Absolutely no one.

We swing from one side to the other, time to time, at times remaining nuetral, but once again it could just spiral into a vicious little cycle.

If you think you have low-esteem, a few motivational camps or books can be your cure; while, if you are on the arrogant side, learn to be humble and learn to look at the good sides of other people as well, cos’ no one is completely absolutely, greater than another. We are all humans, anyway.

 

However, that is not the solution. Most of the time, we are a little of both. As with most ‘mental diseases’, we will never try to cure it, till we need to see a psychiatrist.

Dig a bit deeper into the root of the problem, and you will realise this whole who’s better issue, is merely a comparative nature/behaviour of grounds that we protect or care about deeply, consciously or subconsciously. It’s something like when an ugly beast starts treading onto your beautiful rose garden that you feel that it does not ‘fit’ to be in there, simply because it’s too ugly and it will ruin your flowers(not that you know, as the beast may turn out to be a kind-hearted 1-st class gardener); Or just when you feel like shriveling in your place into a tiny ant and crawl away silently cos’ you feel unfit to stand where you are.

All the above, simply stem from a simple insecurity. We compare, because we are insecure. We put ourself on a higher pedestal when we seem to be better, we fall down the steps when we are with so-called better people. At this point, you should realise how over-rated this better word is. Who’s to judge anyway? It’s that white haired guy, called Judgement in that head of yours and mine.

Don’t like a Judiciary system living in your head? Want more freedom and happiness? Simply, be satisfied with what we have, what we are and how we got by to this point. Sound too simple to be true? Well, the best solution are the simplest one.

P/s:If that Judge says that this is just a stupid person’s blog and that you are wiser than me, and don’t listen to me, then, you are wrong. Cos’ I’m better. Oops… did I just commit my own crime?

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One Response to “”

  1. Nice photo!

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