Archive for April, 2008

Burned out

Posted in 1 on April 30, 2008 by shiying86

I’m burning out, and this blog is turning into ashes soon, despite the fact that it never even ‘caught on fire’ in the first place.

I’m burned out from 3 years of late nightS.

I’m  burned out cos’ I no longer have the stamina.

I’m burned out, as the body is giving way.

Worst ever, I’m burned out cos’ it feels as though I’m losing myself.

Narrative of a shitty weekend begins with lots of submission, what’s so suprising, you say?

The mind is challenged in many ways when the body feels broken, the environment seems less optismistic and you don’t even have time look back and reflect.

From this…

I’m practising what I call “Touch n’ Go”, I attempt to do most things, but end up touching the surfaces and then i gotta run–once again all for the sake of my marriage to architecture. I sometimes wonder where i ever mustered all the strength, time and energy just going along with it. I know it’s only part of life, I know I don’t own it, even the word passion doesn’t exactly justify anything when your whole body just aches from a whole weekend long of sleep deprivation. And the fact that there is a whole long road more to go.

To this, after 10 hours straight on in the labs without budging. 3D max 2008 with Vray render. But I have the most awesome housemates who fed me when i was going to swallow the mouse from hunger.

I’ve ask myself again, again and ever again 3rd year in a row: Is it worth it? Probably not, but being involve in such a objectively subjective artistic field lends itself to be defined by anyone. Crap could just turn out to be a high distinction work and good work could just be boring. At the same time, there is a whole new language to refine; concepts to be thought through; functionality to be rationalised; flexibility to be bend and considered. In other words, solving ‘life’ problems.

A computer crash, whole shit-loads of dramas, buckets of tears and an extra no-sleep day later: A similar but fuzzy image produced.

I loved the quote: Whatever is finished, is done. by one of my favorite monks. But with things being finish, it’s largely my call. And in design, finish is when submission is the very next minute. Criticisms are harsh, but the harshest of them all would always be ourself.  I love what I do; and I truly believe in spaces coming alive and art and architecture to help resolve many problems in life. But as with everything, the cake doesn’t come with a sweet icing.

End results: One painful weekend with the Greatest lesson of all: NEVER save on Uni computer desktop. When the PC crashes, so does your heart. (Just for my own record: 5am Labs with 4G Ram PC + me occupying 4 coms for 1-3hours rendering per image. Classic.  A new personal record which i reckon will be beaten for the next assignment.

And that’s the story of “A corner to love”.

It is also true that in worst situations, it’ll squeeze out the essence. What doesn’t break me, makes me stronger. So thank you for all of life’s bitchiness.



Sharing is caring

Posted in 1, Thoughts and Musings on April 17, 2008 by shiying86

So care to share your cookie with me?

What do you do…

Posted in 1 on April 13, 2008 by shiying86

when someone uses your work?

I’m not talking about plagiarism, that’s clearly almost a crime that may cause you to get expelled.

But I’m talking about things that can be almost be universal, to use a simile: Someone uses that same photo frame that you and your friends spent sometime making(let’s just say it could be duplicated) and not exactly that picture inside the frame. The competition would be judge on the picture, but of course the frame plays a part of framing and bringing out the best of the work. Don’t ask how did they ‘steal’ the frame, technology is so good these days let’s just say it could be duplicated with machines by just popping it into one. Kinda like cloning.

So your frame has been ‘stolen’. And the person distributes it. And it has no copyrights or name, so you cant exactly sue or convict them. He’s distributing it like it’s is work.

You tell yourself, I have kindness, its ok, I’ll share; but really, its that true? Do you just give without asking, when a group effort was clearly disregarded?

The bitchy queen says,”NO! Get it back! its hard work! Thief did not even thank or recognise the effort!”

but than again, how do you get it back? Mass retracting would mean that YOU are STINGY.

So, shrug and, “Nah, just my luck?”, while swallowing that ball of dissatisfaction.


Do you see what I see?

Posted in Art/Inspiration/Creativity, Grunt,groan,sigh on April 13, 2008 by shiying86

This town is colder now, I think it’s sick of us 
It’s time to make our move, I’m shakin off the rust 
I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here 
I’m staring down myself, counting up the years 
Steady hands, just take the wheel… 
And every glance is killing me 
Time to make one last appeal… for the life I lead 

Stop and stare 
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere 
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared 
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh 
Stop and stare 
You start to wonder why you’re ‘here’ not there 
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair 
But fair ain’t what you really need 
Oh, can u see what I see 

They’re tryin to come back, all my senses push 
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could… 
Steady feet, don’t fail me now 
Gonna run till you can’t walk 
But something pulls my focus out 
And I’m standing down… 

Stop and stare 
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere 
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared 
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh 
Stop and stare 
You start to wonder why you’re here not there 
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair 
But fair ain’t what you really need 
Oh, you don’t need 

What u need, what u need… 

Stop and stare 
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere 
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared 
But I’ve become what I can’t be 
Oh, do u see what I see…

-One Republic’s Stop and Stare


The lyrics of the song is so beautifully written. A little melancholic but, nevertheless, poetic.

I wonder too, when I stopped and look back, if I’m moving towards where I want to be, becoming who I think I want to be. It’s all what I think anyway, all relative, and so do I even see what I’m seeing?

Meditation Workshop

Posted in It's my life on April 6, 2008 by shiying86
Meditation Workshop 2008
The Search Within: Metta Meditation

Speaker      : Bhante Sujato
Date           : 12th of April, Saturday
Time          : 10am-1pm
Venue         : To be confirmed (UNSW)
It took me sometime to decide whether or not to publish this on my blog. I never exactly tell people what I do on campus and why. But I am passionate about what I do in Unibuds, the Buddhist Society of UNSW and this is an up-coming events I am organising. 
Meditation is so popular now, it has became a trend and a popular culture. People are curious, suspicious, enthusiastic and some, fearful of it. There can be a whole lot of talk and analysing to go about what it is.
But this is all I can say:
Meditation is about experiencing every single moment. 
Masters/Teachers can teach you about it.
Books can guide you.
Internet tells you everything you hope to know by googling the right questions.
But practicing is the only way to reach deep within, and find out what’s it all about.

It’s all up in my head

Posted in Art/Inspiration/Creativity, Photography, Thoughts and Musings on April 4, 2008 by shiying86

These are stuff that run through my head with design. 

Housemates asked,”How do most people get inspiration? How do people design?” 

Replies,”Its a process, you can get it from anywhere, anything, anyhow. Just how, where, what you want to see.”

“It’s almost like me asking you: why did you eat that for breakfast?”

“Cause I like it?”

“Yea, but why?- It may stem from childhood(memory), taste(senses), routine(rituals) or anything you draw ‘inspiration’ from.”

“Gosh, you guys think so much!”

“That’s why designers have a stick up their arse most of the time. They think no one understands them-individualistic. But seriously, who analyses breakfast, anyway?”

Oh, wait. I think I just did.


Where does everything exist? Where does it begin? 

I say: All up in my head; some call it a pea-sized brain, others said it’s the mind.

Flowering thoughts, flowing senses, constant skecthes…

So near, yet so far. Reachable, but not yet there.

A process, a journey: struggling to transform floating clouds into words, ideas and forms.

Beautiful, but incomplete.


Intangible ideas morphed to evoke senses:to touch; feel; experience.

But before it becomes tangible to the senses-it remains puddles of mud with a few budding/sinking lotus trying to emerge.

Expression of thoughts. Communication. Isn’t everything in life a problem solving process anyway? 

All pictures taken with Camera Phone Nokia N73 at Centennial Park.