Archive for the Grunt,groan,sigh Category

Open up

Posted in Grunt,groan,sigh on October 6, 2008 by shiying86

Opens a box

by GreenRay
by GreenRay




From LonelyPierot

From LonelyPierot


Opens the door

“No one’s there!”

Feels lonely.


Expecting brings nothing.

by solak11

by solak11


Opens the heart

looks up the sky

by foureyes
by foureyes

corner lip cracks a smile 

infinite possibilities ahead

when expectation meets death


Opens the page

by ptrink
by ptrink

another (empty space)


Cos dreams begins today.


All images from deviantArt


Design Studio

Posted in Grunt,groan,sigh, Photography, Travels and Adventure on October 3, 2008 by shiying86

One of the exciting highlights of my semester is doing a design studio with Glenn Murcutt, arguably THE most famous architect in Australia. The course entails a trip up North to Goolawah Reserve, part of a national park. The site is 3km down south from the famous surfing site, Crescent Head Beach.

As a testament to his influence, Murcutt was awarded the Pritzker Prize. In the words of the Pritzker Jury: “In an age obsessed with celebrity, the glitz of our ‘starchitects’, backed by large staffs and copious public relations support, dominate the headlines. As a total contrast, [Murcutt] works in a one-person office on the other side of the world … yet has a waiting list of clients, so intent is he to give each project his personal best. He is an innovative architectural technician who is capable of turning his sensitivity to the environment and to locality into forthright, totally honest, non-showy works of art.”

Pritzker Prize is like an architecture nobel prize if I’m to describe it. Murcutt is the only Australian architect to have ever won it. But he is also awfully down-to-earth and genuine compared to the stereotypical snobbish architects in the industry.

We’re designing a research lab on swamp. We went on a 3 day camp for a site visit, it was tiring but a great chance to bond with my course mates. Another first this sem, is that I actually get to know them better. I realized that no one ever puts a barrier between you and another person, only yourself. As a friend said, I always looked like an ice queen and so others are afraid to approach. While I on the other hand, thought they never ever want to make friend with someone like me. 



There is so much good memories to it. Working in the swamp by day; poker by night. Some of the highlights was watching the Olympics with a whole crowd and waking up early to watch sunrise with 3 boys. It was fun, exciting and inspirational. 

I’m more than half-way through the course, so the initial inspiring excitement has given way to a whole lot of stress and tears. Learning from the best comes at high price, believe me. Having the best tutors, long studio ours (read:8 hours), and yet I am afraid, a lot of fear between me and my work. High expectation which I feel suffocated by. From who? Myself, and I know that. Complicated is not easy, but its easy complicating things. Learning to let go and simplifying things, and yet retaining that singular concept consistently and masterfully is something I have yet able to comprehend and perform.

Do you see what I see?

Posted in Art/Inspiration/Creativity, Grunt,groan,sigh on April 13, 2008 by shiying86

This town is colder now, I think it’s sick of us 
It’s time to make our move, I’m shakin off the rust 
I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here 
I’m staring down myself, counting up the years 
Steady hands, just take the wheel… 
And every glance is killing me 
Time to make one last appeal… for the life I lead 

Stop and stare 
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere 
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared 
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh 
Stop and stare 
You start to wonder why you’re ‘here’ not there 
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair 
But fair ain’t what you really need 
Oh, can u see what I see 

They’re tryin to come back, all my senses push 
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could… 
Steady feet, don’t fail me now 
Gonna run till you can’t walk 
But something pulls my focus out 
And I’m standing down… 

Stop and stare 
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere 
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared 
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh 
Stop and stare 
You start to wonder why you’re here not there 
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair 
But fair ain’t what you really need 
Oh, you don’t need 

What u need, what u need… 

Stop and stare 
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere 
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared 
But I’ve become what I can’t be 
Oh, do u see what I see…

-One Republic’s Stop and Stare


The lyrics of the song is so beautifully written. A little melancholic but, nevertheless, poetic.

I wonder too, when I stopped and look back, if I’m moving towards where I want to be, becoming who I think I want to be. It’s all what I think anyway, all relative, and so do I even see what I’m seeing?

Major Hangover

Posted in Grunt,groan,sigh, nonsense on March 25, 2008 by shiying86

…from participating in an alcohol testing research.

It’s a result of wanting fast cash, in the meantime a downward dash in my consciousness.

Its a massive headache. Feel like puking. And why in a world do dumbass want to get themselves drunk?

oh, and I smell of alcohol.

GREAT, just great.

P/S: Had to pee on a stick to see if I’m pregnant. Amusing-


Posted in Grunt,groan,sigh, Thoughts and Musings on March 25, 2008 by shiying86




1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.
2. light, familiar talk or writing.

Reference from

Now that we have established the fact that gossiping means a conversation between two people or more without the subject being at present, do you gossip?


This makes gossip sound terribly wrong, unethical and something that is of woman’s pastime. Take a close look, and you will realise, that everyone gossips.

Good stuff, bad stuff, interesting stuff, boring stuff, every little thing, and every other thing. It ranges from Hollywood latest scandal to that friend’s friend who did something, somewhere.


Gossip emoticon 

Most of the time, the word ‘gossip’ is merely replaced by ‘networking’, ‘socialising’, ‘keeping update’ etc.

Reading Madison Magazine’s April issue on “Is it OK to Gossip?” strikes a chord in a phase in my life as well as noticing this phenomenal trend that dates as old as human existance (or rather, when language has been established).

Gossip can be destructive, however, it can also fuel a career and have positive impacts on a person’s life, regardless of whether it’s a fact or lie.


That’s what we say

Gossip is a major communication tool. Journalism almost survive on gossiping. And base on an amateur level of ‘gossipism’, it  roots from a few things. As a friend nicely puts it: It stems from insecurities. Madison calls it “To see where we stand.”, basically, they all mean the same thing: Comparisons. We need to know what are others doing, when, where and how, to reaffirm our position as leading a normal/abnormal, boring/exciting life. That’s why those that don’t give a damn about others’ life, usually live more carefree, plus being the source of gossip as well.

“Gossip connects, amuses and reaffirms our sense of humanity.” To prove this point, imagine going to a social event, when people finish talking about your life, and starts asking about “What is so-an-so doing?” or “Do you have any interesting stories?” and all you do is shake your head or say ‘Fine, thank you.” It would literally be the end of your social life. And yet at times, we are stabbed with guilt when we feel like it’s wrong ‘bithcing’ about the other person. To a certain, extent, a lot of people have been flamed by the gossip demons. At least, I have. When you do, you wonder WHY ME? Don’t people have a life? And I am no Paris Hilton, go pick on someone more famous! And at times, when someone is bitching behind your backs, most likely, you’ll get hurt.


Do we flock together?

Of course, gossiping has provided some humour, laughter and fill-in-the blanks for me and my friends. Sometimes, it’s even known as a pastime. But i rather come clean with it then lie that I don’t. And this also forms the fact that gossip forms groups and alliances. It’s a social tool, and when you are kept within the loop, you feel part of something bigger than yourself. This sometimes, spirals into the whole popularity contest.

But certainly, talking good about somebody else in the absent of him/her, is gossiping as well. Just to put the issue in perspective. But because the work itself is associated so much with jealousy, hatred and lies that it is often spins into a reality of bitchy girls/guys, with no-life and wanting to put people down. Before pointing fingers at ‘gossipers’, dig into your conscience, and we’ll realise that “Hey, I’m just afraid of getting a jab at my softest spot.”

Gossip Girl the TV series

And so does every other human being. To me, it’s hard to draw the line on when it is right or wrong to gossip. In fact, it’s merely human nature. It is just more apparent in competitive situations, where one needs to reaffirms their position on higher grounds. So the lesson here is not so much “Stop bitchin’ bout others.”, but to realise why we do it, and whether it helps or worsens our well-being. Putting someone down to make us look better and greater seems like a good plan for now, but the confidence boosting essence loses its power once you hurt another person or feel guilty about it. Words like, “He’s so stupid, he should not even exist.” deserve a thought: If there’s no dumb people around, than, probably, you won’t be the smart one. That’s why that comment itself has put you at the bottom of the ladder. On other circumstances, if its the inferiority complex at work, work on your confidence, not praising others to put yourself down.


Its easy to say it, but its all just so ingrained into our lives that, even I don’t realise when or why I am doing it. Writing this, just reminds me, that like all others I have probably hurt, insulted others and myself. Right/Wrong is for myself and others to judge.

So gossip or not to gossip? Still entirely up to you. After reading this, you can go ahead and bitch about it. Cos’ I’ll be glad that the Gossip post, gotten some gossip.

Am I Busy or Productive?

Posted in Grunt,groan,sigh on March 15, 2008 by shiying86

“How are you lately?”


Simple common answer I always give, and how about you?

However, here’s what I learned:

These days everyone is busy. We’re busy with work commitments, family commitments, community commitments and study commitments just to name a few. We all seem to start each day with a long and demanding ‘To Do’ list.

The big question is – Are the items on your ‘To Do’ list leading you towards achieving your most important goals?

Being truly productive does not involve simply getting a lot of tasks done. It involves identifying and completing the specific tasks that will lead you where you really want to go.

A great question to ask yourself at the end of each day is:

“Am I a step closer to achieving my goals than I was this morning?”

By Anthony Fernando, for more see

In other words, Busy does not equal to Productivity. However, busy bees like myself, like to keep ourselves busy in order to prove that we have been utilising time well. A very bad habit, almost as bad as smoking, in my opinion, cos’ it’s addictive. It sums up quotes like: Don’t work hard, work smart etc. It’s easy pointing this out, but most of the time, we fail to see that we are working too much or rather wasting time working, if that make sense.

When we are busy, tired and exhausted. We suffer. We complain. We don’t enjoy life.

Sometimes, when we are free, we think that we are wasting time cos’ we’re busy. Resting on our laurels is a big boo boo. Doing nothing means procrastinating. Sleeping means being a lazy bum bum. These are just destructive thinking habits, cos’ if sleeping now is going to make you run a longer journey; then push the work aside. That’s why when we are free we worry as well, simply because we are free. Sounds ironic but this happens to me all the time. The world seems to develop and spin so fast that I feel the need to get my head around it before I’m left of it: Hate being a dinasour.

In short, busy, we worry; not busy, worry even more. Oh boy, this is never going to end.

So, when my bed calls for me. I will answer it. I hope you do to.

Well, at least this post would be my most productive thing I’ve done for the day =)

Posted in Grunt,groan,sigh, Reflections on March 12, 2008 by shiying86


Ever felt inferior when you met someone/many others who are significantly better than you? better at studying; at time management; at singing; at socialising; at sports; at cooking; at hooking up; way better looking; more talented; funnier; heck, probably a roll ball of all the above and even more, like maybe give any adjective and just add -ier or the word better/greater. In short, it makes us feel like a loser. And if the loserish pang is there most of the time, the disease is simply known as low-self esteem plus low confidence.

Although the above might hit many of us, I don’t think many a times, we seldom identify ourselves as people with little confidence.


On the other end of the spectrum, we might just meet someone, and just grew a bit more arrogant, show-off or complacent. Not that we are such people, most of the time, we just claim that “Hey! I still speak to that person very nicely!” That is very true, but just that this time around, the situation is not much different from before, although your ‘greatness’ or ‘talent’ was not boldly displayed to the public; you are maybe just the other confident or ‘better’ person on the other side.

So, am I trying to point out who’s right and who’s wrong? Who’s better and who’s not? Absolutely no one.

We swing from one side to the other, time to time, at times remaining nuetral, but once again it could just spiral into a vicious little cycle.

If you think you have low-esteem, a few motivational camps or books can be your cure; while, if you are on the arrogant side, learn to be humble and learn to look at the good sides of other people as well, cos’ no one is completely absolutely, greater than another. We are all humans, anyway.


However, that is not the solution. Most of the time, we are a little of both. As with most ‘mental diseases’, we will never try to cure it, till we need to see a psychiatrist.

Dig a bit deeper into the root of the problem, and you will realise this whole who’s better issue, is merely a comparative nature/behaviour of grounds that we protect or care about deeply, consciously or subconsciously. It’s something like when an ugly beast starts treading onto your beautiful rose garden that you feel that it does not ‘fit’ to be in there, simply because it’s too ugly and it will ruin your flowers(not that you know, as the beast may turn out to be a kind-hearted 1-st class gardener); Or just when you feel like shriveling in your place into a tiny ant and crawl away silently cos’ you feel unfit to stand where you are.

All the above, simply stem from a simple insecurity. We compare, because we are insecure. We put ourself on a higher pedestal when we seem to be better, we fall down the steps when we are with so-called better people. At this point, you should realise how over-rated this better word is. Who’s to judge anyway? It’s that white haired guy, called Judgement in that head of yours and mine.

Don’t like a Judiciary system living in your head? Want more freedom and happiness? Simply, be satisfied with what we have, what we are and how we got by to this point. Sound too simple to be true? Well, the best solution are the simplest one.

P/s:If that Judge says that this is just a stupid person’s blog and that you are wiser than me, and don’t listen to me, then, you are wrong. Cos’ I’m better. Oops… did I just commit my own crime?