Archive for the Thoughts and Musings Category

Complicated Simplicity

Posted in Reflections, Thoughts and Musings on October 24, 2008 by shiying86

In life, whether you like it or not trouble comes.

It’s not a world where we live alone with our own thoughts and feelings. Is life easier that way? Maybe.

I am reminded once again that you can try all your might to avoid hurting other people, it was good intention, but the outcome might not be so with others.

Also, remember to love yourself, above everything else. Not in a self absorbing way, but in a simple smile that you can retain all in your heart-one that does not blame or beat oneself up when the world goes wrong. Or when trouble comes knocking on your door. No WHY MEs. 

A person is in a situation because of many factors. In Buddhism it’s call Karma, an act of cause and conditions. What best illustrates this: is to ask yourself look back at your past, your likes and dislikes, your action and your speech and others who are involved in the situation too, and suddenly all will come clear. It’s simple numbers(actions/thoughts/speech), but add in a few formulas(different people) and trying to fit the whole thing into a logical sequence that satisfies the equation(situation at hand), not so easy anymore.

Human love complicating things, I love complicating things. And yet we strive for simplicity, I salivate over simple designs as they are the best solutions in life, not to mention sexy!(think:minimalist or macs!) However, a patch job-with design, your holed shirt or life issues would never ever work. But that’s what we do: cover ups. Easier than solving the root of the problem. but too much patch jobs complicates designs and hides the beauty of simplicity.

“making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that’s creativity.”-Charles Mingus 

The process of getting is in fact, complicated. So in order to simplify, we tend to over-complicate. Doesn’t make much sense to me, but on the way of working this one out.

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To Love

Posted in Thoughts and Musings on October 10, 2008 by shiying86

Love        [luhv] Pronunciation Key 

noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

 

–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
The definition is for by benefit, to see what the word mean from a technical perspective.
But really, who doesn’t know what love is?
Then again, often, we forget to love.
Disclaimer: No, I have not fallen in love,nor had spring got into my head. And NO, I am not being emotional. Nothing. Just another Extra-ordinary day.
Have you eaten?
Have you slept?
Have you worked?
Have you walked to the station?
Have you smiled?
Have you cried?
Have you achieved?
or Have you fall?
whatever the answer is, can I add another question: Did you put love into every moment you so what you did?
If you did not, you simply did not live.
Harsh? But true.
To digress, the origin of the name of this blog came out of love. Metta is a pali word for Loving-Kindness; metamorphosis is an English word that means transformation. I wanted to remind myself that life is a constant change, and that I need to remember to instill metta or love into it.
I wanted to get out of my vicious cycle of hate and pushing things away. I am a born cynic. So don’t be fooled by my love-infused article. I scorn, scoff and grunt when I was told life is wonderful and that you can get what you want. I fell into depression when I got the best breaks of my life. I tortured myself with guilt when my mum gave me permission to AND paid for my trip to Europe. I cried when a person don’t love you like you do. I cried myself to sleep when I think I’m alone with my troubles.
Sounds normal? The diagnosis is that this is the symptoms of love, or rather the lack of it.
Why are you friends with the people you are friends with? Cos they love you. Why do you love going to the movies? Cos you love it. Why do you feel happy this moment and now? Or if you don’t, why? Either you’re loving it, or you’re not. 
It’s the norm for us to love and hate. Pushing the things we dislike away, grasping at what we adore. But hardly do we question the equation of love in it. Love is such a complex thing that we often equate it to relationships, associating it with cloud nines, suffering, pain and lost. But at the same time, it could be oh-so-simple.
A simple gesture of love today, touched my heart. Not earth shattering extravagant gesture, but simply a love given to me from a friend that made me realized that: I don’t love enough.
I don’t love the opportunities I get; I feel guilt.
I don’t love my work; I feel stress.
I forgot to love the people I passed by today; They think I’m cocky.
I lost the love on the people I cared; They think I’m too busy for them.
I forgot to instill a lil’ love to my food; I don’t even remember what they taste like
I don’t love myself; and its hard for others to love me too.
Love conquers all? Corny, but very true. When you really try instilling Metta/Love into your life, every single moment, you’ll realized it’s not an easy thing. It’s a habit to laugh people who do it, but it takes a master to love everybody and everything. It’s not about pretending to love at all. People who inspires, who truly love from within, are only able to do so, because they love themself.
Who doesn’t like to sulk after a bad day? Bitching about that bitch? I’m there. Hate doing that? Run away! 
But depression, loneliness, pain and suffering tracks us down. In those dark corners of your mind, in the silent hours, like it or not, they creep out to say hello or rather haunt you. So let love in, let it grow within, plant the seed. It would be that light you’re looking for at the end of the tunnel.
Even if you feel that you are unloved, love yourself and you will be. Otherwise, who is there left to love you? Love every single moment you have, busy, stressful or simply nothing. And it will guide you, inspire you and live. 
So go ahead and tattoo it!

Big Spender

Posted in It's my life, Thoughts and Musings on October 3, 2008 by shiying86

That refers to me, thy, mua.

I have quite a bit of indulgence this semester, though if I may call them investments.

I enjoy every bit of it, and here, I very much like to make an Oscar speech of thanking my mum for her generosity. She came down about 2 months ago and in my opinion, have been an awful daughter. There was much struggle for me as much it is for her to reconcile my life here with hers. 

After spending almost 3 years in Sydney without my parents, having one around during semester was never my idea of fun. So when everyone went gushing, “Oh my, That is SO NICE!.” and before you go ” You unfilial bitch.” I must say both comments apply. 

It was great having my mum around and finally having a glimpse of my REAL life, though I have to clarify it’s her 5th time here-essentially for work and a few days extra for me. But as a parent, it’s never great waking up at 3am to find your daughter still in Uni, nor is it comforting to know that she wakes up before you do (note: mum’s an early riser) and sleeps way after you’ve started snoring. 

Not in any way do I lie to my mum about my life either. Though I must say, there is always a tad more complaining, whining and dramas on my part. But for her to see what I do, how I live is really, sad for me. I tried my best to cover up, I threw tantrums to hide real feelings, act tough so she stops worrying but at the end of the day-I know she knows me best. She always wants the best for me, I know, and I wished she would have a better time here.

What did I learn? Seriously, just let it be. If I didn’t try to fight away those emotions and pretending so hard that I have time to spend with her plus those unnecessary worrying, I could have better enjoyed however little moments there were. To side track, I also learned to navigate through Sydney City in car, terrifyingly bold experience, I must say. In short, Mummy I love you. I’m sorry for being such a bitch and I miss you. I miss you fussing over me, I miss you nagging and thank you for letting me go and learning that my freedom comes with responsibilities.

I came to realized as I grow older, that our parents age too. Sounds like a bimbotic statement, but how many of us really feel like our parents may just die any bloody day? Well, they would. On this note, I pray that Lionel, your Dad will get well, enjoy every single moment with him and don’t look back.

IMG_5810.jpg picture by mettamorph

From top left: Jo, me, Vivien and Lionel on his birthday

Friends of the same age or slightly older, have lost their parents just this year, shows that nothing stand against time. Old age and sickness just happens. Life is indeed impermanent. When that happens, what you wished for was to have spent better time with them, even when you are physically away from one another. I count my blessing stars, for those who have theirs alive, and that mine is healthy and leading a life of their own. Blood does run thicker than water.

Enough sentimentality, otherwise it might seem my emotions are spent instead of money.

2-1.jpg picture by mettamorph
My newly arrived table (only this morning!) after loads of hiccups, iPhone, 22-inch monitor screen, my-oh-so-sexy MacBookpro, the latter from my mum. XD
Yes, I am a new mac convert. What’s up with this new addiction? Design and apple= marriage made in heaven. I’m not going to provide a review on any of it, but i’ll say the table is solid as a rock and my Mac serves me perfectly well. Thanks to friends helping me set up and providing me with program installations while I flapped around aimlessly with a new OS.
1-1.jpg picture by mettamorph
They are so pretty, they deserve some cam-whoring.
3-1.jpg picture by mettamorph
My old phone contract expired almost the same time this baby came out. I was lucky to only have to wait 4 hours in line (when I just happen to hop into the shop) on the 3rd day of its release, no camping out the day before for me.
I’m a visual person. I like seeing aesthetically pleasing items with minimalist design and beautiful+intelligent interfaces. So they work well for me. But I must say I am not using them to the full potential, just jumping on the apple craze bandwagon? Not without assessment and my rusty-judgement.
Now that I have everything I need, seems like time, I start focusing on my studies. I’m dreading it. I have inspiring courses but I feel like I am going downhill cos of my inability to simplify and clear shit outta the way. Literally and metaphorically.

In between

Posted in Thoughts and Musings on June 15, 2008 by shiying86

What’s the relationship you have

With everything in between?

Do you feel what you touch?

Do you see what lies in front of you?

Do you taste the drops of water? falling on your lips

or did you put something in between?

 

Was it the fog that blinded me?

or did I let desire fool me?

denying the truth because of dishonesty,

to oneself it seems like the master of trickery;

but really, I put all those thinking in between.

Allowing the brain to beat while the heart thinks,

Clearly doing what’s opposite.

 

The fear that stunted each move,

The arrogance disguised as confidence,

The pessimism hid the chances,

Deluded enough to shut the doors,

that opens up these spaces in between.

 

In between love and oneself,

In between you and me,

In between one and their suffering,

In between denial and acceptance,

In between past and future.

Never neglect 

that overlooked transition

for what you put there could

make a link

or break a path. 

 

Keep it pure, keep it real

open up the doors

let go of the chattering

remove the obstacles

flow freely

so there’s finally nothing in between.

There-truth lies as well as the answers to everything.

Sharing is caring

Posted in 1, Thoughts and Musings on April 17, 2008 by shiying86

So care to share your cookie with me?

It’s all up in my head

Posted in Art/Inspiration/Creativity, Photography, Thoughts and Musings on April 4, 2008 by shiying86

These are stuff that run through my head with design. 

Housemates asked,”How do most people get inspiration? How do people design?” 

Replies,”Its a process, you can get it from anywhere, anything, anyhow. Just how, where, what you want to see.”

“It’s almost like me asking you: why did you eat that for breakfast?”

“Cause I like it?”

“Yea, but why?- It may stem from childhood(memory), taste(senses), routine(rituals) or anything you draw ‘inspiration’ from.”

“Gosh, you guys think so much!”

“That’s why designers have a stick up their arse most of the time. They think no one understands them-individualistic. But seriously, who analyses breakfast, anyway?”

Oh, wait. I think I just did.

***

Where does everything exist? Where does it begin? 

I say: All up in my head; some call it a pea-sized brain, others said it’s the mind.

Flowering thoughts, flowing senses, constant skecthes…

So near, yet so far. Reachable, but not yet there.

A process, a journey: struggling to transform floating clouds into words, ideas and forms.

Beautiful, but incomplete.

 

Intangible ideas morphed to evoke senses:to touch; feel; experience.

But before it becomes tangible to the senses-it remains puddles of mud with a few budding/sinking lotus trying to emerge.

Expression of thoughts. Communication. Isn’t everything in life a problem solving process anyway? 

All pictures taken with Camera Phone Nokia N73 at Centennial Park.

Gossip

Posted in Grunt,groan,sigh, Thoughts and Musings on March 25, 2008 by shiying86

 

gos·sip  

–noun

1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.
2. light, familiar talk or writing.

Reference from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gossip

Now that we have established the fact that gossiping means a conversation between two people or more without the subject being at present, do you gossip?

 

This makes gossip sound terribly wrong, unethical and something that is of woman’s pastime. Take a close look, and you will realise, that everyone gossips.

Good stuff, bad stuff, interesting stuff, boring stuff, every little thing, and every other thing. It ranges from Hollywood latest scandal to that friend’s friend who did something, somewhere.

 

Gossip emoticon 

Most of the time, the word ‘gossip’ is merely replaced by ‘networking’, ‘socialising’, ‘keeping update’ etc.

Reading Madison Magazine’s April issue on “Is it OK to Gossip?” strikes a chord in a phase in my life as well as noticing this phenomenal trend that dates as old as human existance (or rather, when language has been established).

Gossip can be destructive, however, it can also fuel a career and have positive impacts on a person’s life, regardless of whether it’s a fact or lie.

 

That’s what we say

Gossip is a major communication tool. Journalism almost survive on gossiping. And base on an amateur level of ‘gossipism’, it  roots from a few things. As a friend nicely puts it: It stems from insecurities. Madison calls it “To see where we stand.”, basically, they all mean the same thing: Comparisons. We need to know what are others doing, when, where and how, to reaffirm our position as leading a normal/abnormal, boring/exciting life. That’s why those that don’t give a damn about others’ life, usually live more carefree, plus being the source of gossip as well.

“Gossip connects, amuses and reaffirms our sense of humanity.” To prove this point, imagine going to a social event, when people finish talking about your life, and starts asking about “What is so-an-so doing?” or “Do you have any interesting stories?” and all you do is shake your head or say ‘Fine, thank you.” It would literally be the end of your social life. And yet at times, we are stabbed with guilt when we feel like it’s wrong ‘bithcing’ about the other person. To a certain, extent, a lot of people have been flamed by the gossip demons. At least, I have. When you do, you wonder WHY ME? Don’t people have a life? And I am no Paris Hilton, go pick on someone more famous! And at times, when someone is bitching behind your backs, most likely, you’ll get hurt.

 

Do we flock together?

Of course, gossiping has provided some humour, laughter and fill-in-the blanks for me and my friends. Sometimes, it’s even known as a pastime. But i rather come clean with it then lie that I don’t. And this also forms the fact that gossip forms groups and alliances. It’s a social tool, and when you are kept within the loop, you feel part of something bigger than yourself. This sometimes, spirals into the whole popularity contest.

But certainly, talking good about somebody else in the absent of him/her, is gossiping as well. Just to put the issue in perspective. But because the work itself is associated so much with jealousy, hatred and lies that it is often spins into a reality of bitchy girls/guys, with no-life and wanting to put people down. Before pointing fingers at ‘gossipers’, dig into your conscience, and we’ll realise that “Hey, I’m just afraid of getting a jab at my softest spot.”

Gossip Girl the TV series

And so does every other human being. To me, it’s hard to draw the line on when it is right or wrong to gossip. In fact, it’s merely human nature. It is just more apparent in competitive situations, where one needs to reaffirms their position on higher grounds. So the lesson here is not so much “Stop bitchin’ bout others.”, but to realise why we do it, and whether it helps or worsens our well-being. Putting someone down to make us look better and greater seems like a good plan for now, but the confidence boosting essence loses its power once you hurt another person or feel guilty about it. Words like, “He’s so stupid, he should not even exist.” deserve a thought: If there’s no dumb people around, than, probably, you won’t be the smart one. That’s why that comment itself has put you at the bottom of the ladder. On other circumstances, if its the inferiority complex at work, work on your confidence, not praising others to put yourself down.

 

Its easy to say it, but its all just so ingrained into our lives that, even I don’t realise when or why I am doing it. Writing this, just reminds me, that like all others I have probably hurt, insulted others and myself. Right/Wrong is for myself and others to judge.

So gossip or not to gossip? Still entirely up to you. After reading this, you can go ahead and bitch about it. Cos’ I’ll be glad that the Gossip post, gotten some gossip.